About
articles • book quests • news • library
reviews • podcast • gifts • archives
Crew manifest Faith statement FAQs
All author resources Lorehaven Guild Subscribe for free

When The English Fall
Reviews, May 20, 2022

Realm Makers Bookstore Returns to Orlando for FPEA Conference, May 26–28
News, May 19, 2022

112. How Does Fiction Help Us Love Our Enemies Even If We Must Defeat Them?
Fantastical Truth Podcast, May 17, 2022

Library

Find fantastical Christian novels

fantasy · sci-fi · and beyond
middle grade · young adult · grown-ups
All novels Search Add a novel
Vivid, Ashley Bustamante
My Soul to Take, Bryan Davis
Into Shadow's Fire, Mark Castleberry
Deceived, Madisyn Carlin
Arena (2022 edition), Karen Hancock
Kurt Nickle-Dickle of Whiskers, N. J. McLagan
"In a city where debts are paid in blood, one young man will learn that everyone needs help sometimes if they want to survive." New in the Lorehaven library: A Matter of Blood, Lauren H Salisbury
Son of the Shield, Mary Schlegel
Maxine Justice, Galactic Attorney, Daniel Schwabauer
Mordizan, Alyssa Roat
Prentice Ash, Matt Barron
Etania's Calling, M. H. Elrich
The Choice, Bradley Caffee
The Obsidian Butterfly, Lani Forbes
Reviews

Find fantastical Christian reviews

All reviews Request review

When The English Fall
“When The English Fall tells a bittersweet tale of community and commitment that plunges fearlessly into hard questions about the end of the world.”
—Lorehaven on May 20, 2022

Clawing Free
“Clawing Free is an absorbing tale that seamlessly joins modernity and myth.”
—Lorehaven on May 13, 2022

Vivid
“Ashley Bustamante’s Vivid paints a world built on secrets and carefully controlled color palettes.”
—Lorehaven on May 6, 2022

Prophet
“If great fiction dares explore culture wars, it must show more than perfect people smiling before a flat backdrop. Frank E. Peretti’s 1992 novel Prophet reflects this reality.”
—Lorehaven on May 4, 2022

Book Quests

Join quests in our digital book club

All book quests
Lorehaven Guild Faith statement FAQs

Maxine Justice: Galactic Attorney
Book Quests, May 2022

The Green Ember
Book Quests, April 2022

The Seventh Sun
Book Quests, March 2022

Power On
Book Quests, February 2022

Podcast

Get the Fantastical Truth podcast

Podcast sponsors | Subscribe links
Archives Feedback

112. How Does Fiction Help Us Love Our Enemies Even If We Must Defeat Them?
Fantastical Truth, May 17, 2022

111. Why Do Your Kids Need Fantastical Stories for God’s Glory?
Fantastical Truth, May 10, 2022

110. Could We Enter a ‘Golden Age’ of Christian-Made Fantastical Fiction?
Fantastical Truth, May 3, 2022

109. How Should Local Churches Support Christian-Made Fantasy?
Fantastical Truth, Apr 26, 2022

Gifts

Find new gifts for Christian fans

Browse back issues (2018–2020)

Order back issues online!

The original SpecFaith: est. 2006

site archives | statement of faith
Articles Questions? Writers

Yes, Speculative Faith Is Closed, At Least For Now
E. Stephen Burnett, Dec 30

Last Stands, Custer, General Gordon, and Being a Christian Warrior
Travis Perry, Jul 2

How Christian Must Christian Fiction Be?
Rebecca LuElla Miller, May 24

Gender In Fiction: The Implication Of Failure
Rebecca LuElla Miller, May 10

Making a Story Visual UPDATE: Behind the Scenes of the Animal Eye Comic
Travis Perry, May 9

What Does “Woke” Culture Have To Do With Christian Fiction?
Rebecca LuElla Miller, Apr 26

About
Library
Reviews
Podcast
Gifts
Guild
Archives
SpecFaith
Lorehaven helps Christian fans explore fantastical stories for Christ’s glory: fantasy, science fiction, and beyond. Articles, the library, reviews, podcasts, gifts, and the Lorehaven Guild community help fans discern and enjoy the best Christian-made fantastical stories, applying their meanings to the real world Jesus Christ calls us to serve. Subscribe free to get any updates you choose and to access the Lorehaven Guild.
Subscribe free to Lorehaven
/ SpecFaith /

The Elephant In The Room

“I have an elephant.” “You’re kidding.” “No, he’s a real, live, honest-to-goodness elephant. Big ears, prehensile trunk, skinny tail, everything. He’s two tons of fun!”
Fred Warren on Aug 2, 2011
No comments

“Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“Thank you. Black’s fine. Doctor says I need to lay off the sugar.”

“Here you go.”

“Mmm. Nice. I like what you’ve done with the place. Are those new curtains?”

“Yes. We’ve redecorated the whole house. You should see the kitchen. It’s incredible.”

“We? I thought you lived alone.”

“I have an elephant.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, he’s a real, live, honest-to-goodness elephant. Big ears, prehensile trunk, skinny tail, everything. He’s two tons of fun!”

“Strange, it doesn’t look like you’re sharing your home with an elephant.”

“Who do you think did the redecorating?”

“Cute. Do you keep it in the backyard?”

“He is sitting over there on the sofa. Wave hello, Eddie.”

“There’s nothing on the sofa.”

“Eddie is an invisible elephant.”

“Riiight. How come the sofa hasn’t collapsed under his weight? There’s not even a dent on it.”

“It’s a very firm sofa, and Eddie counts his calories, though he raids the refrigerator every now and then, when I’m not looking.”

“How can you tell?”

“He leaves footprints in the butter.”

“Assuming for a moment there actually is an elephant in this room, how did the two of you get together?”

“Eddie found me. Since then, we’ve been inseparable. He’s an enormous part of everything I do.”

“But your house doesn’t look that different, and you could have installed the paneling and carpet by yourself.”

“You don’t believe me. You think I’m crazy, saying I live with an invisible elephant.”

“Oh, no. It’s not like you’re my only friend with an elephant. Bill has one, but it’s too big to fit in his apartment, and it has a temper. The landlord lets him keep it in the basement.”

“How awful. That’s no way to live with an elephant.”

“Well, there’s no mistaking that Bill has one. He smells like an elephant, always has pieces of straw tangled in his hair, and I don’t even want to talk about his shoes. How do you keep this place so fresh and flowery?”

“Lavender potpourri. And Eddie is very tidy.”

“Cindy has an elephant, too. A big, pink one. She has it trained. You come over to visit, Cindy gives the word, and her elephant sits in your lap. There’s no arguing with it.”

“My goodness. Eddie would never force himself on a guest like that.”

“Glad to hear it. You can’t fault Cindy for enthusiasm, though. She has her elephant, and she won’t rest until everybody in the world knows it, up-close and personal. Frankly, if you hadn’t told me, I never would have suspected you had an elephant.”

“It’s not like I’m trying to hide him. He may be invisible, but anybody can see him, if they’ll just look.”

“I’m looking, and I’m still not seeing.”

“Eddie has a presence–he’s always here, taking care of all the little things I don’t think about. He dusts, he unplugs the iron, winds the grandfather clock, keeps the weasels away…”

“Weasels? There aren’t any weasels in this whole county.”

“Thanks to Eddie. He makes me smile when I’m feeling sad, too. Gives me a strong shoulder to lean on when I’m tired. Spend a little more time here, and you’ll see what I mean.”

“It’d help if he’d trumpet once in a while or something.”

“Perhaps I could ask him to sit on your lap.”

“No, that’s all right. I’ll take a refill on the coffee, though, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course. Eddie, be a dear and help me get our friend a fresh cup.”

Well, I guess there’s no harm in playing along. “Hey…er…Eddie…could I have a spoonful of sugar with that, please?”

*SQUEAL*

“Yikes. I think I’m beginning to see. How about we make that two spoonfuls…and a shot of creamer.”

Fred Warren
Fred was born in Tacoma, Washington, but spent most of his formative years in California, where his parents pastored a couple of small churches. He graduated from the U.S. Air Force Academy in 1983, and spent 24 years in the Air Force as a bomber navigator, flight-test navigator, and military educator. He retired from the Air Force in 2007, and now works as a government contractor in eastern Kansas, providing computer simulation support for Army training.Fred has been married for 25 years to the girl who should have been his high school sweetheart, and has three kids, three dogs, and a mortgage. When he's not writing or reading, he enjoys running, hiking, birdwatching, stargazing, and playing around with computers.Writing has always been a big part of his life, but he kept it mostly private until a few years ago, when it occurred to him that if he was ever going to get published, he needed to get serious about it. Since then, he's written more than twenty short stories that have been published in a variety of print and online magazines, and a novel, The Muse, that debuted in November 2009 from Splashdown Books, which was a finalist for the 2010 American Christian Fiction Writers Carol Award for book of the year in the speculative genre. Speculative fiction is his first love, but he writes the occasional bit of non-fiction or poetry, just to keep things interesting.
Website ·
  1. Galadriel says:
    August 2, 2011 at 11:53 am

    Is it wrong that I was looking for a reason for this besides laughing?

    Reply
    • Fred Warren says:
      August 2, 2011 at 1:13 pm

      Oh, that’s perfectly fine. You could probably interpret it in any number of ways, but there were some discussions on several blogs this week about the portrayal of God and other Christian themes in Christian fiction, and they provided some inspiration for this piece.

      Laughing is okay, too. 🙂

      Reply
      • Ben Wisdom says:
        August 2, 2011 at 3:59 pm

        …there were some discussions on several blogs this week about the portrayal of God and other Christian themes in Christian fiction…

        Could you post some links of these discussions for our perusal?  This is something that I have been thinking a lot about lately, and I would love to have more food for thought on the matter.

        Reply
      • E. Stephen Burnett says:
        August 2, 2011 at 4:38 pm

        Ben, our cowriter Becky has a few of those in her column yesterday: Speculating About the Known.

        Reply
  2. Bruce Hennigan says:
    August 3, 2011 at 11:56 am

    Mike Duran has a heavy post at http://www.mikeduran.com about “glorifying” God in our writing.

    Reply
  3. Rebecca LuElla Miller says:
    August 3, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    there were some discussions on several blogs this week about the portrayal of God and other Christian themes in Christian fiction, and they provided some inspiration for this piece.

    I suspected this, Fred, but I didn’t want to be presumptuous.

    Ben, I also wrote “Truth In Fiction” and you’ll find links to other articles in that post.

    Becky

    Reply
  4. Nissa Annakindt says:
    August 3, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    Darn, I thought the story was gonna be about Republicans….

    Reply

What do you think? Cancel reply

  • In Case You Were WonderingIn Case You Were Wondering
  • Let's Look At Openings - Round TwoLet's Look At Openings - Round Two
  • HeroesHeroes
  • Fred's 2012 SpeculationsFred's 2012 Speculations
Lorehaven magazine, spring 2020

Wear the wonder:
Get exclusive shirts and beyond

Listen to Lorehaven’s podcast

Authors and publishers:
Reach new fans with Lorehaven


Lorehaven helps Christian fans explore fantastical stories for Christ’s glory: fantasy, science fiction, and beyond. Articles, the library, reviews, podcasts, gifts, and the Lorehaven Guild community help fans discern and enjoy the best Christian-made fantastical stories, applying their meanings to the real world Jesus Christ calls us to serve. Subscribe free to get any updates you choose and to access the Lorehaven Guild.