Fantasy authors can be a strange breed.

Seeking to write stories that revel in imagination and whisk readers into other worlds…but at times fall painfully, woefully short.

To paraphrase Eomer, “We should not doubt their motivations, merely their execution.”

Because let’s face it—some fantasy stories should have stayed locked up in the castle room high in the turret.

When Fantasy Authors Write Boring Stories

Aragorn’s he-did-what? face … image via lotr.wikia.com

Because #elves and Tolkien lookalikes are the only way to make a fantabulous fantasy tale.

Not saying there’s anything inherently wrong with copying Tolkien. After all some Christopher guy wrote about Aragorn’s name alter-ego Eragon. It did pretty well. But still, as they say in science: don’t try this at home, kids.

Fantasy authors love to write all the fantasy things. Problem is, most of the time they really shouldn’t.

Things like…

Oohhh, other races. Yes, let’s use them and ignore the fact that they’re nearly identical to elves and dwarves and orcs. Or pretend like they’re different (you know, call them something else) even when they’re really not.

The Chosen One story arc. The world won’t be satisfied until every poor farmer boy becomes a hero.

A dark, brooding enemy that lurks in the background and never shows his face beyond the shadows.

Trilogies! Yay trilogies!

The stunningly beautiful love interest who’s probably related to a king or has immortal blood flowing through her veins.

Here we go a questing, across the world so green. Here we go a traveling so far to be seen (pro hint: has a much better ring if read to the tune of the Here We Come A Wassailing song).

Let’s form a company of important people who do a lot of walking and talking, interrupted by occasional fighting (see above).

Hark, the gray-haired mentor comes forth with tidings of destiny and fate and the ruin of the world. Also, a pipe and staff and scowly eyes.

The world is ending! The world is ending!

Loooonnng descriptions of scenery and character appearances and more scenery. We’re talking paragraphs that look like the outline of a Manhattan skyscraper.

The fair beauty and grace of the one whom the hero has the privilege of being loved by, even if he couldn’t even hold a sword in Chapter 1 and has a 50% chance of smelling like barnyard.

Characters: we have a plan but it’s not that great and the evil overlord is terribly powerful and impossible to defeat. But hurray, we have magic.

Evil overlord: I shall tell my enemies my plans and conveniently wait to kill them for the sake of the story.

Characters: woe upon us, the evil overlord has greater magic than do we.

Image via princessbride.wikia.com

Evil overlord: woe to me, for I still fail to triumph.

The princess who loves the commoner but is forced or coerced or tricked or guilted into marrying the cruel lord. Is there no compassion in the world?

Unpronounceable names that don’t believe in vowels and are disturbingly fond of apostrophes.

Chapters that rival Gandalf’s beard in length.

A big, black, doom-bringing army.

An incompetent character who masters skills faster than Harry, Ron, and Hermione getting in trouble. Because he’s the hero and all.

Disclaimer 1: I say this because I, too, am a fantasy author, and that list pretty much describes my life story. Guilty as charged. Plus I LOVE reading fantasy, and there’s nothing better than a story that reflects all the best the genre has to offer instead of rehashing the same plot with the same characters in the same setting.

Disclaimer 2: Don’t fret if I’ve just described your story. Using tropes is fine. Some elements are like a story’s building blocks—you need them to make everything work. Just as long as you don’t overuse them. Think salt. A little bit goes a long way. Use it wisely, and at the end of the day, readers will thank you.

What things do fantasy authors write that you don’t like?

“H*ll no,” the little girl shouted to her friend during recess. “H*ll no!”

Such language from a six- or seven-year-old startled me, but also made me think. First thought? The more our culture does not believe in hell, the more the word seems to punctuate our language.

Second thought? Where does someone so young learn such language?

Of course just yesterday I heard about a mother whose children attend a Christian school who sprinkled various curse words in her language as she talked with another mom and her two primary school children.

So cursing is just part of the culture here in America, then?

My thoughts then jumped to the five Star Trek TV shows that have been airing on an oldies station. In only two, Enterprise and Next Generation, do the characters curse. I suspect the limits on foul language are more a reflection of the FCC regulations than any conviction of the authors.

Still, there is some literary rhyme to the change of language in the different shows. Next Generation rarely had the characters use expletives. Enterprise, which was a prequel and therefore set closer to our time, had the characters include curse words with some frequency.

The Star Trek franchise is predicated on the idea that humankind will improve and improve as time passes. Consequently, a refinement in the use of language fits that premise.

In addition, as far as I can recall, no Vulcan ever used bad language, even the one who co-stared in Enterprise. Vulcans are, after all, people that have mastered their emotions, a race that prides itself on its dependence on logic. So why would they lace their language with words meant only to convey an emotional reaction?

As a writer, I can’t help but ask the age-old, unanswerable question, one that essentially came up again on a Facebook site recently: starting with language, should stories reflect culture or shape it? Without a doubt Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek, and apparently those who took over the production of the following iterations, believed in using their platform to influence culture, to present a picture of the future that they hoped for.

Hence various stories showed the value of sentient life, no matter what form; the importance of logic; the need for self-control; the evil of greed and the unwarranted use of force; the significance of love regardless of gender or race; the progress of society toward the good; and more. The original series went so far as to propound the idea that no opponent was actually evil. Rather, they acted on the basis of self preservation, and much conflict was a result of misunderstanding.

How influential has Star Trek proved to be? How much have the values we see in society today been shaped by the thoughts and beliefs embedded within those stories?

Of course that’s another unanswerable question. The stories don’t exist in a vacuum. What other influences were at work on the culture at the same time? What other stories? What historic events? What famous people who spoke into the culture?

Besides serving as a catalyst for various parodies and movies and even an unrelated TV series this year, perhaps the greatest affect Star Trek and its variations have had on the culture is one that legitimizes change, including the advance of technology.

For instance, the characters basically had smart phones before the cell phone was even invented. They read from electronic tablets before the iPad came into being. And they depicted space travel before a man had stepped foot on the moon.

In addition, they showed racially integrated star ship crews. They positioned women in places of prominence as part of the bridge staff and senior officers.

And they didn’t curse. Clearly, the language the characters used did not spill over to influence the language of our culture today. Does that mean stories have little or no impact on the direction of society? Not at all. Rather, I think the power of Star Trek resides in its ideas, not its particular words or even its gadgets.

In the same way, I think that what matters the most for a Christian writer who aims to influence culture—which is a good thing, in my opinion—are the ideas he puts into his stories. Should he use the language of our culture? In other words, should his characters curse? If the characters in the Star Trek franchise managed to have an influence on the culture without copying the lowest form of our present day language, I don’t see why Christian writers can’t do the same.

On the other hand, by avoiding questionable language, Christians may be modeling a form of speech that is consistent with that of those who believe as they do. They may not necessarily be setting a higher standard for the unconvinced and unconverted.

What then are Christians to do?

I’ll admit, I hate to hear a six-year-old with a foul mouth. I hate to hear a fifteen-year-old with a foul mouth. In fact, I’m pretty sure I can’t think of an acceptable age when cursing seems just fine. But is anyone saved by eliminating curse words from their vocabulary instead of by believing in the atoning work of Jesus Christ?

My point is simple. While language influences, the ideas language conveys, influence more. Perhaps we Christians should think more about what we want to say in our stories than how we say it.

Join superfans E. Stephen Burnett, Austin Gunderson, and Kerry Nietz as they react to DC’s Justice League. In real time since the film’s Nov. 17 release, we praise, complain, and above all hope for a better Ultimate Edition of the superhero trilogy begun by director Zack Snyder.

Full disclosure: we’re all big fans of Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. These are required viewing for anyone trying to make sense of Justice League and its fans.

Read the complete series. In this part, we explore our favorite and not-so-favorite moments.

Kerry Nietz: Yep, I have been purposely avoiding this conversation until this moment. All the world seemed to want to play spoiler on this movie. (Including Focus on the Family. My wife was so upset at them , she sent an email.)

From what I see from skimming though … um, wow, fellows, good thing there isn’t a cliff near by.

I actually really liked it. Thought the Superman parts were great, all the individual parts were interesting, really. Some parts I just loved, loved. The main issue you have with any of these large ensemble movies is that there is scant little time for any individual character. Yes, it could have used more time. But compared to some character heavy movies (looking at you Star Wars prequels) I think they did really well.

Austin Gunderson: Heh. I wouldn’t say I disliked the film; just that it wasn’t nearly as good as its predecessors. It failed to clear the super-high bar for me, but it definitely cleared the “this is entertaining” bar. There were a lot of great moments.

Justice League vs. lackluster stakes

Kerry: If I had to name a fault, it would be in the stakes. They needed to create more of a sense of global peril. That could have been easily done with more small scenes in different locations. Possibly those are the types of things that were left on the cutting room floor.

I assume you guys stayed through the credits?

Btw, there were applause at the end of my showing. (Not started by me.)

The movie most felt like a 4th hour of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice to me. A closing up of the loose ends and MacGuffins from it.

E. Stephen Burnett: My wife and I got back from a second viewing this afternoon. I enjoyed it more this time. Really, it’s all about adjusting expectations. But I still want a director’s cut by Zack Snyder, if they ever finish and release one. So much potential wasted otherwise. And so many more opportunities to tie the individual heroes’ own stories into the film’s meta-theme of uniting to prove that great darkness only makes greater heroes.

Kerry: I like that. Yes, that would be good.

It is 7.5 out of 10 on IMDB. I always say (with books) if you can please 75 percent of readers, you did your job.

Austin: That number will drop. It always does. The people seeing this movie on opening weekend are the ones who wanted to like it.

Stephen: There you go. I weary of the negativity. Really, really weary of it. People were clapping and applauding today, and that’s in a semi-full theater on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Methinks next weekend it will do better thanks to decent word of mouth.

Austin:  I agree with you, Kerry, about the lack of stakes. As I mentioned earlier in this thread, the villain, Steppenwolf, obviously wasn’t at Superman’s level. So as soon as Supes showed up at the fight, what tension there was kinda evaporated for me.

Kerry: Yes, they should’ve brought Darkseid. He’s  nearly impervious to Superman. But he’s a bigger bad. The Thanos of the DC universe. Steppenwolf gave them a way to introduce the “Fourth World,” though and set up a possible bigger bad later. The struggle for a new team, though, should be in seeing if they can work together, not necessarily in the villain they face. Think of the first Avengers movie? Aside from location, how different was the threat level?

Austin: Right. The scenes where the plot most engaged me were those leading up to the Supes resurrection. There seemed to be some real fissures forming in the team’s cohesion. There was a lot of potential for mutiny or defection. And honestly, I couldn’t tell whether that’d be good or bad.

But then everybody just sort of settled down and the uncertainty was lost.

So what were your favorite parts, Kerry?

Kerry: I wonder if there weren’t more dissension moments left on the cutting room floor too. And I wonder if they ever thought about going the route where Steppenwolf brings Superman back…as a weapon.

Or if that would be just too dark.

In the comics, Superman was resurrected by the Fortress of Solitude robots. Sort of behind the scenes. That would be hard to pull off in the movie … because how do you keep the audience from knowing?

Favorite moment was events immediately after the resurrection. Especially Flash running at him only to have him notice. Too cool.

Also the scene where Flash and Superman are “rescuing” civilians.

Did you have a favorite moment?

Austin: Yeah, I loved that eye-move moment. Flash’s face was priceless. Also loved him tipping Diana’s sword into her hand, then totally biffing it into the wall.

Other favorite moments include Aquaman sitting on the Lasso of Hestia.

Of course, it’s my strong suspicion that most of my faves were Whedon moments, which just annoys me.

Kerry: Oh yeah, those were great. The Aquaman confession. Beautiful.

Austin: I was like, what is even happening right now?! And then it all made sense.

Kerry: Flash’s talk about understanding people and brunch was good too. And then the callback to it later. “That feels like betrayal.”

Austin: Heh, yeah. Flash basically stole the whole movie. He was the fanboy everyman, the relatable Hobbit character.

Kerry: Absolutely. That was a good way to play it. A solo Flash movie could be really good.

Even the Lois “you smell good” line was solid too. And it was nice to see Superman smile a little. Because again, if you can fly, you’re going to smile. (Though maybe not at the same time. Bugs!)

Austin: “Did I not before?” ?

Back to potential improvements: Something else that might’ve gotten cut out was a subplot wherein Cyborg’s allegiance is in question. At one point, we hear somebody refer to him as “a guy who might be working for the enemy,” and it seems completely unmotivated. But when you think about it, it makes sense to be suspicious: he was given life by the alien power source now possessed by Steppenwolf. That could have been another major source of tension that just seemed to evaporate.

Kerry: Right. Aquaman said that.

That did seem a little out of place.

The one big advantage Marvel had in Avengers was having individual films for the characters first. We really could’ve used an Aquaman and a Flash first. And probably also a Batman to more cement who this version of the character is.

Austin: Yeah. There’s also that moment during the climax when Cyborg grabs the boxes and then goes all googly-eyed, and Steppenwolf leans over and says, “Now you understand,” or something like that, and I was all like, “Okay, now Cyborg’s gonna get reprogrammed and things are gonna get interesting,” but then nothing happened. I’m pretty sure there was a whole scene that got cut, there.

Kerry: Oh yeah! I’d forgotten about that. I was like “what did he see? what did he learn? what!”

Justice League vs. character humor

Stephen: Austin, I suspect you liked those Whedon bits because even Whedon doesn’t just do “jokes” for their own sake. He uses humorous dialogue to develop characters the same way Snyder uses action to do the same.

Kerry: Yes, the dialog is part of what made Firefly great.

Another good line (paraphrased): “Okay, what do you need me to do? I know you didn’t bring me back because you like me.”

And then Bruce’s sort of blubbering response.

Wow, there are lots of interesting character threads that could’ve used a bit more…

Austin: Oh, I didn’t mean that the jokes’ deliverers were interchangeable: Whedon excels at character-based humor, and each gag was tailor-made for the characters involved.

What I meant was that the jokes were almost entirely extra-plot.

For instance: Aquaman could have sat on the lasso under any circumstances and it would have been just as funny. Ditto Flash’s brunch-babble. Ditto Superman’s rivalry with Flash (as demonstrated by their mid-credits scene). Strip away the plot, and the jokes still stand by themselves. They could have been pulled from HISHE’s Superhero Cafe. They are, literally, “throwaway gags.”

A significant exception to this rule is Flash’s comic astonishment when Superman can match his speed, and their subsequent fight. Which is why I’m pretty sure that that scene, at least, was present in the original script. It’s not only character-specific, it’s situation-specific.

“Is she with you?”

Stephen: Similarly, anything Alfred says, or the “Is she with you?” exchange in Batman v Superman.

Austin: “Is she with you?” could’ve only happened in that initial meeting. Granted, the meeting itself could’ve happened under slightly different circumstances, but the joke was about how the two guys who each think they’re the singular hero are suddenly out of sync with the plot. (It also reveals and gently mocks their instinctively masculine possessiveness; Diana isn’t “with” either of them.)

Kerry: Everyone answering the bat signal was fun too. It almost would’ve been more fun if we didn’t know three of them were together prior. Like, what ho, why are you all here? This is my shtick.

Stephen: Also, Bruce’s line (paraphrased): “Complete this mission and you can go back to the shadows. Dress up like a bat. I won’t even sue.”

Aquaman: (smirks) “Dressed like a bat. I dig it.”

Austin:

Barry Allen: “What are your superpowers again?”

Bruce Wayne: “I’m rich.”

Kerry: “They all left, huh? That’s sort of rude.”

Stephen: Also y’all … Commissioner J.K. Gordon. For the win.

Kerry: Was Clark Kent’s middle name always Joseph?

I never had heard it before. Joseph would be another biblical connection, of course.

So, I looked it up, and his middle name is sort of a writer discretion thing. Either Jerome or Joseph. Not names of his creators. The more you know!

“Both” names of his creators. Yeesh, autocorrect.

Join superfans E. Stephen Burnett, Austin Gunderson, and Kerry Nietz as they react to DC’s Justice League. In real time since the film’s Nov. 17 release, we praise, complain, and above all hope for a better Ultimate Edition of the superhero trilogy begun by director Zack Snyder.

Full disclosure: we’re all big fans of Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. These are required viewing for anyone trying to make sense of Justice League and its fans.

Read the complete series. In this part, we begin sharing our early reactions to the film.

E. Stephen Burnett: Folks …

Justice League is a two-hour trailer for the real movie. ? Adjust expectations accordingly.

This review is correct:

The film is very clearly a Frankenstein’s monster of a motion picture. Two very different films are present here stitched together with the barest of connective narrative tissue. The one film is very clearly Snyder’s: all grim bombast, cool poses, and CGI-enhanced action. The other is fully Whedon: quippy, light-hearted interactions that are enjoyable but hold no real narrative weight. If these two films seem like they might be at odds with each other, you are not wrong. The film at times has tonal whiplash. Warner executives have said that Whedon only influenced 25% of the final film. I find that number hard to believe. Almost every interaction between the heroes feels like it’s been pulled from the Whedon playbook. Every time action occurs it feels like a more serious film where posing and “cool” shot placement takes on more importance than coherent visual filmmaking.¹

Austin Gunderson: I agree, Stephen. The whole way through, it felt glaringly obvious that it was an intermediary installment. I’m gonna have to mull over exactly why this was, but it definitely felt less apocalyptic than Man of Steel.

The team dynamic was really fun, though.

Stephen: Oh, the characters are great. I love each and every one of them. But this rushed story and world around them felt shallow and empty. Sometimes literally. … Cities around them had no life.

It needed another full hour. It needed Snyder’s deft hand in the editing and post-production.

Justice League vs. Warner Bros. editing

Stephen: I signed this petition earlier for an Ultimate Edition of the film, perhaps three hours long, actually directed by Snyder. I don’t agree with everything the petition starter says, or with the gratuitous run-on sentences.  But he gets it. Even down to the lame music substitutions.²

Austin: Heh. I remember the fervency of fandom that took hold after John Carter was a flop. I remember “Take Me Back to Barsoom!” This petition feels like that.

Stephen: Except all that original footage and production already exist.

Austin: And I agree with everything you said, Stephen, but I feel the main weakness lies deeper — in …

… you know what? Kerry may not have seen it yet.

[SPOILER]

… in the fact that Steppenwolf was no match for Superman. That’s been the key strength of the previous films to me: that Superman wasn’t boring. I thought this movie managed to Make Superman Boring Again. Not because he was unlikable, but because he won so much I got tired of winning.

Stephen: I don’t mind Superman coming back a bit happier. Or easily vanquishing his enemy. But … the film offered no continuity to his peace in sacrificial death before. No meaning to his return. And unlike I’m the original Death of Superman story, when he resurrects more naturally because his cells undergo rebirth, this is just fssshhtt, science. Boring. Interest fading. Bruce Wayne pulls a Tony Stark and creates a Vision.

“Emptied of meaning” describes a lot of the story.

And honestly, gentlemen, I’m tired. Getting over a cold. Can’t sleep. Feeling very alone and stupid for liking stories other people hate and bemoaning stories other people are mixed to fine about. It does get a little personal for me sometimes. Like: What is wrong with me?

Austin: Eh, the world’s screwed up and there’s no wisdom in crowds. Art isn’t democratic. The higher denominators aren’t common.

Stephen: That’s a problem if your life’s goal is to encourage and create great works of story-art.

Huge, depressing, potentially debilitating problem.

Austin: Yup. But you don’t need to proselytize everyone; just enough. A handful. An intrepid company. A band of brothers.

Justice League vs. story flaws

For myself, I was okay with the forced-resurrection subplot. It at least gave meaning to the otherwise-dumb-and-derivative Marve— er, Mother Boxes, and it paid off the Knightmare scene from Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. (“Lois is the key!”). Also, I like that Supes didn’t just pop outta the ground like a daisy. I’m so sick and tired of resurrections “just happening,” and this one at least felt weighty, like there was a real risk involved.

Regarding the DCEU, I’m not surprised at the direction it’s taking (assuming Snyder doesn’t return for future films — I’m not aware of his plans). It was always only a matter of time before the narrative threat-level and the highbrow artistry could no longer be believably sustained and the franchise slumped into a Marvel-esque malaise. I don’t think it’s quite there yet, but for any franchise that trades in end-of-the-world scenarios yet is unwilling to permanently part with any of its main protagonists, such a fate is inevitable. The only options at this point are to dramatically lower and internalize the stakes (as Batman v Superman did to some extent, and as a solo Batman film might — or a film where Luthor’s the main villain), or to cut straight to Darkseid. Anything in between those will just feel like a superfluous step, and unfortunately that’s Steppenwolf’s category (pun very much intended).

However, no matter what the future holds, we’ll always have Man of Steel and Batman v Superman. The real wonder is that those films got made at all.

Stephen: I’ll be content if we just get an Ultimate Edition, Whedon parts and all. I didn’t mind those so much, but in this drastically shortened cut they felt so superfluous.

Austin: What frustrates me is that the Whedon parts were the most memorable. The underlying drama simply wasn’t given enough room to breathe, and suffered a uniform diminishing as a result. High drama must be earned, lest it become melodrama. It’s earned chiefly through adequate time investment. It has to sneak up on you over time. It has to become a “lived experience.” Whereas gags are funny by themselves — even without context. And so the fact that my favorite moments were all gags disturbs me.

Stephen: They worked in isolation. But as with some of the Marvel movies, the gags often stepped on the weightier moments. When the weighty moments stood alone, they also worked very well.

But the movie wasn’t even full-on Whedon. He’s now wrongly maligned because of Marvel mandates for the two Avengers movies, especially the last one. But this is the guy who gave us Firefly, which is more than just the stereotypically witty-quippy stuff. There’s plenty of ideas in there too.

Austin: Oh I think Whedon’s great the way Lucas is great: he does one thing really really well, but he doesn’t know when to stop.

Justice League vs. cynical critics

Austin:

‘Justice League’ Posts DC Universe’s Worst Box Office Opening With $96 Million

Welp, there goes the dream …

Stephen: And this too.

Justice League Is the Epic We Deserve[3. Armond White writes for National Review and is not at all a respected critic. He will literally positively review a film that comes under criticism, and vice-versa, as if solely to act as a contrarian.)

Seeing it again today so my wife can join me this time.

When you’ve won Armond White, it’s all lost.

Real director’s cut or get out.

Austin: LOL. Why do you even read that stuff?

Stephen: I didn’t. Just saw your headline and knew who it was (Armond White).

Hope Warner Brothers (the film producers) learns the right lessons from this. All this is the fault of messing with the movie. Because now they irritated even the Snyder fans.

Austin: Yeah, no kidding. If you lose your base, what’s left? The Marvel partisans will never love you.

But “learning the right lessons” is not a feat at which studio execs are adept. They’ll probably ask Whedon to direct the next one.

Stephen: Which means it might be better because the theatrical cut isn’t even pure Whedon either.

Austin: I don’t want pure Whedon. Everything’s pure Whedon. I’m up to my eyeballs in pure Whedon. What is Thor: Ragnarok if not pure Whedon? What is Guardians of the Galaxy if not pure Whedon? I’ve had it with superpowered jokefests. I want drama commensurate to the genre’s milieu, otherwise I’m out.

Stephen: I mean, it might at least be a better put-together movie even for a jokes-stepping-on-serious-themes story.

But I’m with you.

I’ll get over this, but I’ve seriously considered stepping back from superhero movies as a whole over this. I’ve already dropped several TV shows and will not pick up any others simply because of limited time.

Well. Better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.

Or to expand on C. S. Lewis’s quote: to love a story at all is to be vulnerable.

Remember to sign the petition.

Justice League Fans Petition for Zack Snyder’s Original Cut

Fans are further motivated by the leaked deleted scenes.

Thinking about it again, on the other hand …

Audiences are ranking it higher than critics.

Also, all the other films have released in spring/summer.

More of the people I know are talking about it. So it may be that people are waiting until the holiday weekend to see it.

Also I don’t get people talking about Superman’s mustache erasure being terrible. I looked and looked and never saw anything weird. Purely psychological.

Austin: Yeah, I didn’t know that was a thing until after the movie, and I never thought to myself, ‘What’s with his upper lip?!?’ People have no ability to compensate for their expectation biases.

Next: Kerry Nietz joins and we explore our favorite moments of Justice League.

Lawless
By Janeen Ippolito

Ironfire Legacy Book 1

INTRODUCTION – Lawless

The salvation of humans and dragons lies within a convicted murderer.

Dragonshifter Kesia Ironfire has one goal—to redeem her past by serving the cruel dragon Pinnacle as a soldier in the dragon-human war.

Then a rogue mission to spy on a new airship explodes into sickening green smoke. The same mysterious green smoke that was present the night of Kesia’s crime. When her dragon overlords deny any involvement, she and her tactical partner Zephryn Nightstalker try to investigate–and are sentenced to death.

Still searching for answers, Kesia and Zephryn flee to the human military capital, where Captain Shance Windkeeper has been furloughed after the destruction of his airship. Eager to discover what–and who–blew up his vessel, he agrees to help Kesia and Zephryn infiltrate High Command. In exchange, Kesia must pretend to be his betrothed so Shance can escape an arranged marriage. If only she knew what ‘betrothed’ and ‘arranged marriage’ meant.

But human social customs are the least of her worries. Dark secrets surface as Kesia delves deeper–secrets that challenge the facts of her crime and undermine the war itself.

A steampunk fantasy adventure with a side of snark and quirky romance.

LAWLESS BY JANEEN IPPOLIO — EXCERPT

Chapter 1

One benefit of illegal missions: there were no high and mighty leaders questioning everything you did.

//Remember: in and out quickly, don’t disturb anyone, and don’t destroy anything.//

But beware fleetwings who tried to fill the gap.

Kesia huffed a steam of smoke at her tactical partner and thought back. //Ruin all of my fun, hm?//

//Is any of this supposed to be fun?// Zephryn fixed her with a fierce glare, his cobalt eyes flaring with red fire. He was a vision of lethality. His long, serpentine body and midnight wings imposed themselves in her view, obscuring the starlight. Which was what they needed this night. Kesia adjusted her flight pattern to fly closer to him, further within the protection of his Cloak—part of Zephryn’s Talent that allowed him to end light around himself and others.

His Talent was the only reason she was alive. An ordinary soldier caught on an illegal mission would face severe punishment. A criminal like her would face immediate execution. Unless she brought home reconnaissance, something to earn her enough respect for her past to be erased.

Something like spying on the Congruency’s newest airship and prized captain.

A thread of panic stirred her. No more thinking, or else she would never do it. She flapped her wings, coming close enough to Zephryn to flick her long tail across his back. //I won’t take unnecessary chances, I promise. Thank you for helping me.//

//For you? Always.// His stern look softened for a moment. He nudged the top of her deep red head with his snout. A flush of warmth immediately erased much of Kesia’s fear. //Now, go quickly! I will stand guard against other sentinels. Satisfy your curiosity, and see what you can learn.//

//With all speed.//

She glided in slow circles beneath the ship, smelling the acrid scent of oil-fuel and smoke. Airships had once been vessels of beauty and artistry, used for pleasure excursions and merchant expeditions. After the war began, the Scepter of Industry had made new advancements, ones that stung the eyes of dragons and corrupted the air.

Kesia brought her attention back to the mission. What should she be? Stifling a bubble of laughter, she closed her eyes.

Raven.

She shifted. Her dragon form shrank and was consumed by paper-thin skin and feathers. Kesia fought dizziness at the sudden loss of mass and angled her body to adjust for the night winds that buffeted her far more than before. Zephryn’s Talent could get them eriously close to the airship, but hers would allow her to hop aboard.

Kesia shook off the thoughts and flapped her wings harder. She enjoyed this form. It was fast and fleet.

//Really? You chose a form that is a symbol of death for the humans, Rose-Wing?//

She croaked irritably. //Or perhaps a symbol of flattery, hm? After all, you’re raven-hued.//

Kesia could picture Zephryn’s peevish look, one that made her enjoy teasing him more //I would not have you needlessly jeopardize yourself. And what was our bargain about disturbances?//

//What disturbance? Croaking is a perfectly appropriate action for a raven. You always seek to ruin my fun. But if it will appease you . . .//

She closed her eyes and shifted again, this time to another, smaller bird. By the time she reached the top-most mast of the ship, she had gained control of her new sun-dove form. Kesia landed gracefully on a crosspiece and settled her wings about herself, fanning the brilliant yellow plumage underlaid with pale blue feathers. Zephryn couldn’t possibly object to this choice. Sun-doves were migratory birds that followed winter across the land of Sekastra. Al human travelers saw them as good omens.

Dragons like her saw them as snacks.

– – – – –

AUTHOR BIO — Janeen Ippolito

Janeen Ippolito is two authors for the price of one! She writes nonfiction writing resources and speculative fiction with monsters, misfits, and mushy stuff. She’s also an experienced teacher, editor, author coach, and the Fearless Leader (president) of Uncommon Universes Press. In her spare time, she enjoys sword-fighting, reading, food, and making brownie batter. A lifelong misfit, she believes different is beautiful and that everyone has the ability to tell their story. Two of her goals are eating fried tarantulas and traveling to Antarctica. This extroverted writer loves getting connected, so find her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and at her two websites: janeenippolito.com and writeinsideout.com

Tis the season…for holiday craziness. The month between Thanksgiving and New Year’s is more hectic than Hobbiton preparing for a Baggins birthday party.

With all the places to go, things to do, people to see, Christmas songs to listen to, how can we survive? It’s simple, really.

Geek style.

The Geek’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays

A practical guide for sci-fi and fantasy fans who want to survive the holidays.

Mingle all the Christmas movies with your favorite geek films. Think bingeing Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, all the Marvel or DC productions.

Watch The Last Jedi—like five times. And revisit the rest of the saga while you’re at it.

Count down the days to the Doctor Who Christmas special on your calendar.

Wanting to avoid traveling? Invest in a TARDIS. It’s the only way to get around. May also come in handy when you run out of time to do some last-minute shopping.

Fill your Christmas wish list with delightful geek gifts.

Come up with fabulous New Year’s resolutions, such as…

• Learn Klingon.
• Memorize every poem in Lord of the Rings.
• Take archery lessons so you could outdo Katniss, Susan Pevensie, and Legolas in a competition.

Create stories where a dwarf is Santa and all his helpers are Lothlorien elves. Sell them and make thousands of dollars because #comedy.

Give the gift of geekery: replica weapons from Middle-earth, a Harry Potter wand, the DVD set of the most recent Doctor Who season.

Make barrels and barrels of butterbeer. It’s an excellent substitution for champagne. May also be good for spiking eggnog.

When scrambling through the malls and stores, channel your inner Gandalf and shout, “You shall not pass!” Foolproof method for making room for yourself.

Books. Buy lots and lots of books.

Whip up some clever Captain America Christmas memes.

Instead of spending late nights wrapping presents, use that time to debate conspiracy theories with your friends.  And hire Orlando Bloom to take care of your presents.

Watch Die Hard and wonder why on earth that counts in this list.

Before you venture into the shopping chaos, declare, “I’m off on an adventure!” And make sure you’re well-equipped to survive the journey.

Instead of hanging a stocking, use a Chewbacca onesie—it’s bigger and can hold way more presents.

Spend Friday nights immersed in the world of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Make a special holiday calendar, with each month featuring a different dwarf decked out in a glitterbeard.

Buy Doctor Who themed wrapping paper for your gifts.

Use a lightsaber to open all your presents on Christmas morning.

Write an essay on how Santa’s reindeer, given their capacity to fly, must belong in Narnia.

Make a naughty and nice list of characters from superhero movies.

Guess who’s on the naughty list…. image via marvelcinematicuniverse.wikia.com

Write Christmas cards to your favorite sci-fi and fantasy movie actors.

When it snows, build a snow fort and reenact the battle for Helm’s Deep.

What are some other ideas for geeks to survive the holidays?

Speculative fiction is known for . . . well, speculation. Writers ask the “what if” question in ways that break known boundaries. What if a magic world exists on the other side of the wardrobe? What if a white witch ruled and prevented Christmas from coming? What if dwarfs and elves and wizards once roamed the world? What if space travel allowed people on Earth to discover other populated planets throughout the universe? What if time travel were possible? What if parallel universes traversed by ley lines existed? And on and on.

Speculation. The fun part of speculative fiction of any stripe—superhero, classic fantasy, steampunk, dystopian, space opera, you name it—is this look beyond the known, beyond the empirical, to the imaginative.

But why does anyone want to do that? Why did hundreds of thousands of people read the Harry Potter books, then go see the movies? Why did so many young girls get invested in the choice a heroine made between a vampire or werewolf? Why did a movie franchise grow up around the existence of galactic alliances and empires and rogue smugglers?

C. S. Lewis gave the best answer:

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” (Lewis Quotes)

The desire for a superhero, the desire for a larger place, the desire for a world in which right can fight against wrong and actually win—these are the yearnings that drive, not only audiences, but writers, to the imaginary.

But is the speculative only imaginary? Isn’t some of what we long for true and present within the pages of Scripture?

No, there are no zombies in the Bible, but what do we make of the young boy who died while listening to Paul preach all night, and then came back to life when the apostle prayed? What about Lazarus or a handful of other revived people who had been pronounced dead?

What about mediums who apparently did talk to people who were alive in the afterlife? What about three men surviving an execution when their guards couldn’t? What about mysterious armies of God” that only prophets could see? And what about talking donkeys? Or snakes, for that matter?

The amazing thing is that the Bible opens up a realm that seems better fit for that which makes up myths and fairytales, yet it claims to be true. A virgin birth. A host of angels visiting shepherds. A star that acts like a GPS. Aren’t those elements of great speculative fiction?

Yes. But God . . .

God flips reality on it’s head. What we think of as solid and verifiable and true, He calls a vapor, a fading flower, a bit of grass that is here today and gone tomorrow. What lasts, what is forever, is God’s word, the eternal life He gives, His Person.

What we think of as impossible—God in human flesh, His Son bearing the sins of the world, His Spirit taking up residence in the life of every believer—has become almost ho-hum in the religious environment of western civilization.

Perhaps the “other world” we’re made for, which Lewis allude to, has become either too familiar or too much like the speculative fiction we enjoy. Are we losing our ability to tell the real from the make-believe? Have we forgotten that there is a greater reality that our speculation points to? Do we live for the pretend more than we live for the permanent?

No book helped me see my own attitude about this life and the next more that Lewis’s Great Divorce.

That book simply revolutionized my understanding. Life after life is what’s real, what’s solid, and it is the temporal life we now experience that is wispy and ephemeral. Imagine my surprise to learn that Lewis’s view was also Scriptural. (“Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away” James 4:14).

The thing is, C. S. Lewis didn’t correct my thinking by giving me a theological treatise on the afterlife. Rather, he showed, from his imagination, the reality of life beyond this life. No, I’m not suggesting that Lewis had some vision of heaven and that he gave an account of what we can expect to which I must cling as if it is Scripture itself.

What Lewis did was alter my understanding by giving his own imaginative version that contradicted everything I’d thought before. He showed eternal life to be the true reality, not the vaporous wisp I’d imagined it to be. He showed heavenly riches to be far surpassing anything of earthly substance. He portrayed heaven to be rich with certainty and joy, and hell to be isolating and filled with selfishness.

A fairy tale? Indeed. Lewis made up his Gray Town and his Ghosts and Solid People, but in so doing, he showed me, at least, that life after life is what matters most, that this prologue we’re in is critical but not complete in and of itself, that its meaning is in relation to the whole story. (from “The Truth And Story”)

Speculative fiction points to the real story, and the real story is far more fantastic than we often admit.

Without a pause, the US turns the page from Thanksgiving to Christmas. It’s a busy season, as it is every year. Consequently, I thought it might be helpful to bring back an excerpt of “Pearla’s First Christmas,” a short story visitors might have missed last year. Enjoy.

“Pearla’s First Christmas”

A short story by Shannon Dittemore

INTRODUCTION
“Pearla’s First Christmas” is a short story, written from the point of view of one of the characters in the Angel Eyes trilogy, and is available as a free download from author Shannon Dittemore.

“PEARLA’S FIRST CHRISTMAS” — EXCERPT

There was nothing silent about that night.

Except perhaps for the boy’s tears. His cloak was drawn tight around his thin shoulders, over his mouth, tears soaking into the cloth. Despite the warm of the night around us, he was cold. The staff in his hand trembled as he prodded a wayward sheep, pushing it away from the outer edges of the flock.

It was the fear that shook him, weighed him down, kept him silent beside the men trading barbs in the night air. The largest of them—a thick, burly man—was relentless in his jabs toward the boy, mocking his size and his youth, poking at him with a rod.

It came in great sticky globs—the fear—through the boy’s clothing and hair. Black and thick, it rolled down his back and onto the ground, pressing its way through the grass, looking for another victim.

I stepped toward the boy, invisible to him of course, my celestial form inherently warm, a deterrent to all things evil. My toes pressed into the vein of fear leaking at his feet. It hissed, sparked, and began to curl into itself. Stifling the spread of fear is easy enough for me and doesn’t violate my orders in any way, but the fear growing in his heart . . . I wanted to stop that too.

A touch from me would ease his sorrow, quell his fear, but I’m a cherubic spy, not a Shield. My job is to observe and report, not to engage. A desperate urge welled inside my chest, working its way to my hands. I balled them into fists at my side.

“Go ahead.” A voice rang inside my head. Deep. Lovely. Kind. It was Michael, Commander of the Armies of Light. “Tonight we bring goodwill to mankind.”

We Cherubs are small, no taller than a human child. One small step brought me face-to-face with the shepherd boy. His gaze was fixed on something beyond the fields, his gray eyes brimming with tears, his lips purple from the chill of fear.

My fists loosened then, the freedom to act—a thrill rushing through my form. I’d not done it before, offered healing to a human. But as my hands pressed into his chest, as I spread my dark fingers wide, I knew Michael was right.

Tonight we bring goodwill to mankind.

The boy’s eyes widened and then fluttered, his lips releasing a sigh of respite. The fountain of fear in his chest gurgled to a stop, but when I drew my hand away, a small pool remained.

“I don’t know why he’s still afraid,” I said.

“And you likely never will,” Michael answered. There was tension in his voice, a strain I rarely heard. My wings lifted me and I turned, rising several feet so I could look him in the eye. His wings dwarfed mine. They arched high above his head, broad and downy white. He was clad in armor now, his helmet covering a head of golden hair that matched his close-cropped beard precisely. He stood with his sword in one hand, javelin in the other, his eyes on the churning heavens above us.

“They’re here,” I said, following his line of sight.

Though the earthly, Terrestrial realm was dark with night, the invisible, Celestial realm was alive with color. Oranges and yellows flooded the world around us, streaked with shimmering gold. Light was everywhere. But as we stared, far above, the heavens changed. From a distance they looked to be nothing more than flecks of pepper seasoning the sky. But they were nothing of the sort.

It was the Fallen. And they were lethal. They could not be permitted to assault Bethlehem tonight.

Michael lifted his eyes to the town in the distance. “Gabriel should be here soon. It can’t be long now.”

But as we watched, the forces of darkness began to take shape, and our hopes of the Father’s Chief Herald making it through them unscathed grew dim.

“He’ll need a guard or he’ll never get through that hoard. Stay here, little one. When Gabriel arrives, tell him my forces and I will keep darkness at bay until—”

“Until the message can be delivered,” I finished.

The message. That was our mission tonight. To see it delivered. To whom, I couldn’t say. Someone important surely. This night’s even was worthy of the grandest audience, but it wasn’t my business to know. I would wait here for Gabriel. I would obey my Commander.

Michael lifted his arms, opened his mouth, and a loud cry rang across the heavens. From the light itself emerged three thousand angels astride their warhorses. Michael’s own steed, Loyal, materialized next to us, a being of cloud and light. With his voice still ringing, Michael swung into the saddle and the two launched into the sky.

I watched as he Commander soared to the front of his forces, as they closed ranks behind him. The Celestial sky above became a sea of white feathers, wind after wing after wing, the brightness of Michael’s forces blotting out the darkness descending on this place.

I turned back to the shepherds before me. To their sheep dozing in the grass and the men exchanging tales. They knew nothing of the battle raging overhead. Nothing of the gift that even now, was being given them.

SHANNON DITTEMORE — AUTHOR BIO

Shannon Dittemore is an author of young adult fiction. She has an overactive imagination and a passion for truth. Her lifelong journey to combine the two is responsible for a stint at Portland Bible College, performances with local theater companies, and a love of all things literary. When she isn’t writing, she spends her days with her husband, Matt, imagining things unseen and chasing their two children around their home in Northern California.

ANGEL EYES was Shannon’s debut novel and the launch of a young adult supernatural trilogy. It was published in the summer of 2012 by Thomas Nelson, followed the next year by BROKEN WINGS and DARK HALO.

With Thanksgiving on the doorstep, it’s time to remember what we’re thankful for.

Unless you’re a villain, of course.

Because let’s be honest—being filled with thankfulness isn’t really part of their DNA. Kinda like having a bold, well-to-do person destined to be the Chosen One. It doesn’t happen.

In that case, how do villains celebrate Thanksgiving? By remembering all the things they’re NOT thankful for. Obviously.

Last week, Mark Carver’s clever A Very Speculative Thanksgiving featured characters sharing what they were thankful for. Characters such as Thor and Frodo and Spiderman. Now it’s time to see what the villains have to say…

Villains Are NOT Thankful on Thanksgiving

Setting: A brooding castle tucked deep into a snow-capped mountain range. In a large hall, thick with haze from large fireplaces and somber as a graveyard, villains from far and wide have gathered.

Sauron: Thank you all for coming.

Loki: Thank you? You dare dishonor the title Villain by using such sporting words?

Sauron: Silence, Trickster. Your opinion matters naught to me.

The Joker: Can we acknowledge we’re talking to a giant flaming eye? Not even I could dream up something that crazy.

Image via lotr.wikia.com

Darth Vader: *heavy breathing*

The Riddler (raising an eyebrow at Darth): He’s a cheery one, isn’t he?

Voldemort: There is no cheer in the world. Only endless pain.

Sauron: Enough. Stop wasting my time with idle banter.

Smaug: Listen to the Eye. Let us commence our misery.

Loki: You first, overgrown fire-breather. What are you not thankful for?

Smaug: For thieves and stubborn dwarves and barbed arrows.

Joker: What do you have against thieves? We’re an honest lot. We promise to steal and always keep our word.

Random Dalek: Exterminate!

Riddler (staring at the Dalek): I fail to see the connection…

Dalek: Exterminate!

Loki: I’ll exterminate you, foul machine. You’re a disgrace to our ranks. I am NOT thankful for whoever let that excuse for rubbish into our midst.

Darth Vader: *heavy breathing*

Riddler: What has a mouth but does not speak? Has no face but sees all? Is naught but shadow incarnate?

Voldemort (shooting withering gaze at Riddler): I am unthankful for meaningless babble and pointless riddles.

Joker: Babble? Babble. Yes, you’ve come to the right place, dear Voldemort. We have an endless supply of babble.

White Witch: Shut up, all of you. Fools!

Riddler: Tell that to Vader. Or maybe you could give him some of your infamous Turkish Delight and loose his tongue? Anything to say yet, Vader?

Darth Vader: I loathe anyone named Han. I loathe family. I loathe this miserable dwelling.

Image via thedarkknighttrilogy.wikia.com

President Snow: And I find you all distasteful and dull. So very dull. There is little here to be thankful for.

Joker: Settle down, Grandpa. We can be a rousing lot if we put our minds to it.

Smaug: Indeed. Roused to fiery fury.

Riddler: Does anyone wish to guess my riddle? It’s quite simple.

Sauron: I wish to speak. I am not thankful for hobbits. I am not thankful for the presence of good. I am not thankful for courage and the heir of Elendil.

Voldemort: Well said.

Dalek: Exterminate the Doctor!

Joker: Forget the Doctor. He’s of no consequence. I am not thankful for bats. Ohhh, I hate them and everything they represent.

White Witch: Children are worse. Especially ones from England who happen to be siblings.

President Snow: I heartily agree with the woman. I have a particular dislike of melodramatic teenage archers. Repulsive.

Killer Frost: You know what I’m not thankful for? Alter-egos and other dimensions.

Riddler: I’ve had enough. I’m not thankful for ALL OF YOU! Refusing to guess my riddle. You’re all children playing at childish games.

Loki: Silence your accusations. You have no right. And after tonight, I can say I also am not thankful for whiny compatriots. And heroes. They’re so…heroic.

Tony Stark: Hey now, watch what you say, Mr. Demigod. Didn’t work out for you last time, remember?

*everyone stares at Tony*

Sauron: Why are you here?

Tony Stark: What? Don’t want me crashing your party?

What do you think other villains aren’t thankful for this Thanksgiving?