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A Very Speculative Thanksgiving

Several science fiction, fantasy, and comic book characters are gathered around the table for Thanksgiving dinner…
| Nov 15, 2017 | No comments |

Image copyright Polygram Filmed Entertainment

Scene: Several science fiction, fantasy, and comic book characters are gathered around the table for Thanksgiving dinner.

Gandalf: *taps staff on the ground* “Everyone, quiet down, please. Thank you all for coming. I know that some of you traveled a great distance to be here – ”

Thor: “Tell me about it.”

Gandalf: ” – And before we enjoy this grand feast set before us, let us go around the table and say what we are thankful for, if you feel that you want to share.”

Captain America: “I bet Falcon’s glad they still had turkey left at the supermarket or he might have been the centerpiece.”

Falcon: “Har Har. Bet you didn’t notice I used your shield for the platter.”

Captain America: “What?!”

Gandalf: *clears throat* “Anyway, let’s begin. I’ll go first. I am thankful that there are people in this world who still stand up against evil, who carry heavy burdens across treacherous lands because they care more about the future of others than about their own lives.”

Frodo: “And I’m thankful that they usually don’t have to do it more than once.”

Gandalf: “Wait your turn, Frodo.”

Spider-Man: “All right. I’m thankful for tall buildings and construction cranes and suspension bridges, and that I don’t live in Kansas.”

Superman: “Hey, watch it, pal.”

C-3PO: “I am ever so thankful for my dear friend, R2. He may be an irritating bucket of bolts sometimes, but I can’t imagine life without him by my side.”

R2-D2: *chirps*

C-3PO: “I’m sorry old friend, but sometimes you are quite irritating.”

Gollum: “We are thankful for kniveses, and fishes, and rockses, and the Precioussss…”

Sam: *smacks him on the back of the head*

Wonder Woman: *rises to her feet and stares off into the distance* “I am thankful for the opportunity to inspire millions of women and girls around the world, to give a voice to the voiceless, to give young girls a big screen hero that they can be proud of!”

Elektra and Catwoman: *scowl and sulk*

Gandalf: “Frank, what about you? Are you thankful for anything?”

The Punisher: *pushes his chair away from the table* “Oh yeah, I got tons to be thankful for, like smokeless powder, and brass shell casings, and armor-piercing rounds, and laser sights, and 100-round drum magazines. You know what? You all enjoy your little family gathering. I gotta go make someone thankful for their last few seconds of life.” *storms out of the room*

Gandalf: “Okay… Anyone else?”

Captain Janeway: “I am thankful for the millions of fans around the world that love us and our stories. Without them, we would just be words on a page or scribbles in a comic book.”

Everyone at the table: “Hear, hear!”

Gandalf: “Enjoy the feast!”

Gimli: *jumps on the table and buries his ax in the turkey*

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