Once again, Christians have shown themselves out of touch with the real world.

Recently in the real world, people from a competing religion started internet movements such as #GiveElsaAGirlfriend and #GiveCaptainAmericaABoyfriend. They argue that famous characters, such as Elsa from Frozen and Captain America from the Marvel films, ought to receive in-story same-sex relationships, because they ought to receive them.

We are letting other religious people outshine us in this vital area of popular culture appropriation. Once more, we see the American church has failed us. We must do better.

So I propose six famous characters Christians can appropriate for moral causes.

Let’s begin with:

#HelpMarlinFindJesus

In 2003, Pixar Animation Studios introduced audiences to Marlin, a clownfish father who is overprotective of his son, Nemo. But when Nemo is kidnapped, Marlin must struggle to put aside his fears and find his son. Tomorrow’s sequel Finding Dory promises similar themes.

But what about a third film? Wouldn’t it be better if, rather than finding Nemo or finding Dory, Marlin the fish put aside his fears of sharks, jellyfish, and whales, and found the Lord?

It just makes sense for the story. The director, Andrew Stanton, is a professing Christian, and thus he should tell stories that specifically represent his “people.” Scripture is full of stories about seeking to save people who are lost. And besides, Marlin the clownfish is a fish, and this is an ancient symbol for Christianity.

#KatnissShouldFightFortheKingdom

Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games novels and films is a conflicted heroine. She is forced to lead a revolution she doesn’t much care about at first, all while trying to protect her family. These are two very challenging themes of good and evil, and focus on a family, and both these themes are very Christian. So Katniss may as well go the full way and put her faith in a true Kingdom that will last long after Panem has crumbled into memory.

Of course, this will necessitate a few changes that should be part of novel revisions and a remake of the film adaptations. As much as we admire Katniss, she is often too independent and does not trust enough in her community. This is true of her mother, whom Katniss should seek to “honor … that [her] days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” This is also true about the men in her life, Gale and Peeta. They should fulfill their biblical roles as Katniss’s leaders, while Katniss works to submit to their headship.

In the movies, Katniss is also seen wearing tight-fitting clothing. This could cause men to stumble. If Katniss is to fight for the true kingdom, she must consider garments that are more appropriate to her task, such as loose-fitting blouses and skirts.

#OverwatchShouldFeatureTheBodyofChrist

I’ve heard of a new video game called “Overwatch.” I’ve read a few reviews of this game. Some focus on the differing roles of game characters, each of whom has different gifts and abilities to use in battle against enemy hordes. Immediately I thought of the apostle Paul’s description of the different members of the body of Christ in 1 Corinthians 12.

So I think this new game, “Overwatch,” should make these themes even clearer.

If some characters act as the “eye” of the body, and others act as “the hand,” then they ought to have little icons of these body parts on their uniforms or hovering over their heads. Perhaps they could also show little verse references stamped on their sleeves.

Speaking of clothing, however, that one character (or perhaps two), in the tight pants, should be re-clad because even nonbelievers have been saying these characters could make men stumble. But other characters who wear armor could be shown more clearly to be wearing the “full armor of God,” such as the helmet of salvation or the shield of faith.

#ReyShouldWieldTheSwordoftheSpirit

Another famous character could wield the “sword of the Spirit” found in Ephesians 6:17. I’m speaking of Rey from Star Wars: The Force Awakens and the upcoming new Star Wars films. In the first story, Rey gains a lightsaber, a very famous weapon that reminds us of the apostle Paul’s description of a sword that is “the word of God.”

But Rey should recall that this “sword” is not real. It serves as a metaphor for spiritual realities such as Scripture reading and prayer, which are a believer’s true weapons. Only then can she withstand the flaming sword of her enemy, Kylo Ren.

Some fans have criticized Rey’s expert use of The Force¹ after only a few days. After all, Luke Skywalker trained for a few more days on Dagobah in The Empire Strikes Back.

But if Star Wars embraces its Christian heritage, this can easily explain the story problem. Rey’s use of The Force is raw and untested. As a new Jedi knight, she must seek training, and this training ought to come from the men in her life, the spiritual authorities God has placed over her. In Force Awakens, Rey meets Finn as well as Han Solo, who becomes a father figure to her. By the story’s end she meets Luke Skywalker himself, and the story promises he will train her in the ways of The Force. This can encourage godly womanhood.

#LetDuanePutHisFaithInTheRock

Duane Johnson calls himself The Rock.

But wouldn’t it be better if, in every one of his movies, he promoted the Rock of Ages?

I say this because Johnson seems a swell person. In all of his movies I’ve seen, such as Race to Witch Mountain and San Andreas, he displays charisma, a contagious grin, and godly masculinity in the form of helping others as well as muscles. These things have no value in movies apart from a specific proclamation of a particular agenda. So why not Christianity’s?

#ThoseGuysFromSupernaturalShouldFightForTheGospel

I don’t regularly watch “Supernatural.” In fact, I haven’t seen a single episode. But I’ve seen enough commercials for it while watching other shows. And I know there are two brothers, and one of them is named Dean Winchester, and one or the other says, “We’re on a roll.”

Perhaps there is much to enjoy about this show, such as stories involving large men who hunt vampires, werewolves, killer clowns, and zombies. But I don’t know what these things are or what benefit they offer me. So the best approach is to use it as a tool for my agenda.

So therefore I suggest that Dean Winchester (if that is his name) and his brother should instead be shown fighting for the Gospel. And I suggest their enemies be shown as demons (according to a biblical and not secular worldview), prosperity “preachers,” and atheists. This is simply the best thing to do with this show, regardless of what its actual fans think.

These are just a few suggestions for famous characters Christians should hijack. I strongly encourage you to repeat the simple hashtags suggested above, and join this moral cause.

How about you? What other famous characters do you suggest for Christian hijacking?