Today I’m headed to Realm Makers. It’s the best growing conference for Christian writers (and fans) of fantastical stories, fantasy, science fiction, and beyond.

Perhaps you’re going too? If so, feel free to introduce yourself below.

Perhaps you’ve also chosen a favorite cosplay for the Friday banquet.

I’ve chosen mine, but I had to sort through a list of possible cosplays and reject a few.

So if you are looking for me at Realm Makers, here is what I will not look like.

1. A presidential candidate you despise.

Whoever is running for president whom you cannot stand, rest assured, I will not cosplay as her, him, or it. After all, I just couldn’t. It’s the hair, or that creepy stare, or that social position that is contrary to everything you believe in. But that other person, the candidate you absolutely adore, I would surely dress as that person. Assuming you like any of them.

2. No-Face

I’m sure a more-professional fan who has actually attempted this cosplay could confirm otherwise. But from here it looks like No-Face is one of the easiest cosplays to manage:

1. Make a cool mask, inspired by the figure from Hayao Miyazaki’s Spirited Away.
2. Stick it on top a black bedsheet, with holes cut in the side for black-sleeved arms.
3. Profit.

Perhaps I’ll attempt a No-Face cosplay in the future, when I have a real time crunch.

3. Gajeel

I actually seriously considered this cosplay. Actually, I would not have dressed as Gajeel, an enemy from “Fairy Tail” who ends up joining the anime’s titular magic guild. I would have dressed as Edolas Gajeel, a twin from an alternate dimension who is a mild-mannered reporter. When he and real-Gajeel meet, they do not come to blows. Tough-guy Gajeel does not mock his parallel-world self. Instead they easily recognize the other’s awesomeness.

4. Iron Man with Hulkbuster™ Armor

This proved too expensive for someone who barely made it through Calculus 1. And that’s before we even talk about the orbital satellite that shoots down all the spare parts.

5. Someone from ‘Game of Thrones’

That “Game of Thrones.” That “Game of Thrones.” I do not like that “Game of Thrones.”

Insert your “easiest cosplay is a birthday suit” joke here.

6. The Green Arrow

My marksmanship is terrible, and most days my jaw muscles do actually move. I don’t look that great in green, and actually do fairly well as a team player rather than being repeatedly told how your team matters more than the whole “lonely hero thing.”

Also, I looked all over Ikea, but could not find a do-it-yourself-assembly salmon ladder.

But I would cosplay Noah.

7. Storybook Noah’s Ark

This proved entirely too cutesy, doctrinally incompatible, and cotton-ball-intensive.

8. Deadpool

Overdone. And now that webcomic artists are literally drawing pictures where the “punch line” is Deadpool swearing at Captain America, I think this cosplay trend (despite the movie’s success) has just about leaped a whole Discovery Channel tank full of sharks.

9. Your pastor

I don’t know your pastor, and he has not (to my knowledge) featured in a motion picture, so I’m not sure I could pull it off. Plus, alas, some pastors do not (yet!) understand the Christ-exalting possibilities of fantastical stories, so if you have seen this yourself, I would not want to remind you of this. Or perhaps if you struggle with this, I could walk up to you, peer at you over my spectacles, and you could say exactly what you would like to say.

10. This man.