1. notleia says:

    Slightly OT: Not sure if you actually understand how gaslighting works, or if you’re just trying to use “gaslighter” unconventionally and it fell flat. We need to work on your SJW vocab, Burnett.

    But context is everything. This is why you can call your friend a bitch but not some random stranger (unless they don’t actually like it and then you’re a bad friend). [Coincidentally this is why black people can use the n-word when white people can’t. I mention it because there seems to be some confusion about this among white people.]

    Me and my dude were chatting with a plumber once who asked if we have stupid nicknames for each other like a lot of couples do (his wife did and he didn’t like it). We channel all that into our cats rather than each other: fishbreath, buttbag, fuzzface, dorkbutt. It’s probably a good thing we don’t have kids because a kid could have a hard time expressing that they don’t like a nickname even if we don’t mean it like that.

    • If I thought “gaslighting” was an exclusively SJW term, I would not have used it here.

      Agreed about the N-word. I actually thought of including this example above. The fact is that most people think it’s okay to use “bad words” (swear words and otherwise) on each other, in real life, if their relationship is based on pre-existing mutual trust.

      • Julie D says:

        It comes down to the relationship. I call my dog ‘stupid’ all the time, but I only half-mean it, because I care about him. Insults of caring, as it were.

      • notleia says:

        Huh, I learned about gaslighting (and trigger words) in SJW-ish spaces (Captain Awkward; samanthapfield.com; Love, Joy, Feminism), so I feel like I learned them from the horse’s mouth, more or less. I suppose if you didn’t learn them in SJW contexts, you wouldn’t consider them SJW-ish, but I’m not sure where they would be talked about if not in SJW spaces.

        • I first read the concept of gaslighting (though perhaps not the word itself) from a mid-2000s politically conservative book called “Bias” by former CBS News contributor Bernard Goldberg.

          • notleia says:

            Huh. Well, I ended up looking up stuff and learning, which is a good thing. Apparently gaslighting as been a concept since the 60’s, I guess it just took a couple decades to trickle out into public consciousness, which seems per usual.

            But I’m still not convinced that insulting Gamora then punishing someone else for insulting her falls in the Venn diagram for gaslighting, because gaslighting is about manipulating the narrative to manipulate the person, and there’s not really a narrative. It could be built upon to make a narrative, but it’s not there yet.
            There is totes that sort of person who insults someone as a “joke” that isn’t really a joke because they don’t stop when the target feels bad, but I think it only turns into gaslighting when they start using a narrative like the target is “too sensitive” or “humorless bitch” or “real friends/family can violate boundaries.” My older brother did a bit of the “too sensitive” game, but his usual stuff was garden-variety verbal abuse so I don’t really consider him a gaslighter, just a regular asshole. And that is my thesis on the distinction between generic abuse and gaslighting in particular.

            And I do remember this is entirely academic because Drax wasn’t being abusive in the first place. This is about word usage, and word usage is important because it’s what makes us different from savage animals that poop in the woods.

            • Autumn Grayson says:

              Especially since gaslighting tends to be used to make the target feel crazy. In a lot of ways it tends to be somewhat specific and so much more malevolent than average manipulation.

          • Agreed again. Which is why I wouldn’t at all classify Drax as “gaslighting.” I have seen the term misused to refer to someone who simply believes in a different reality, or sees things differently, and naturally speaks and acts based on these conclusions. But Drax, like other people, can’t help seeing the world how he sees it. This is worth considering before we accuse anyone (even certain disagreeable political figures) of “gaslighting.”

  2. kaci says:

    I’ve yet to see GotG 2, fair warning. I think Drax’s comment worked because (1) he tends to do it consistently, and (2) when he says it about his friends, it’s almost as if he means the opposite, which could be why they chose that particular one. I don’t particularly respond well to even jesting about someone being a hooker or a whore, but since I have heard it used in a jesting manner, I guess I can at least acknowledge how it was intended.

    Nevermind I still want to punch people for it, and refuse to change that mindset on any insult I find worthy of being punched over. 0=)

  3. Saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 last night. Mild spoilers:

    • Drax still steals the show. But so do Rocket and Yondu.
    • Baby Groot isn’t as cute as people claim. Works better in “small” doses.
    • Baby Groot < Adult Groot
    • The metaphor jokes are gone. What the heck, Guardians?!

What do you think?