1. Galadriel says:

    I’m thinking something to do with his mechanical skills.  If you can’t crush them, recruit them–old enough strategy.

  2. Bladebearer says:

    I’m really thinking mechanical skills. However, I feel this meeting might be a warning dealing with his stunt. Perhaps that Alden is valuable, and this Lord doesn’t want anything to happen to Alden. Maybe a slight hint about his past and Alden’s father, but nothing outright. Maybe a “remember your original father” sort of talk. Maybe tie in that his father wasn’t careful or something and the Lord doesn’t want Alden to end up like him.
     
    I’m not sure about red-eyes. feels a little cliche. Maybe Crimson Horrors? (wonder if anyone will get the DW reference).

    • DW? Is that Door Within? Which reference are you thinking?
      I agree that the dad reference needs to be subtle. 
      I’ll update with the rest of the chapter this week. Keep the ideas coming. 🙂

    • Leanna says:

      I don’t think it makes sense to mention the dad at all unless CON has some kind of evidence that the dad somehow left a valuable piece of information with his infant son.  The setting of the world is based around keeping people disconnected from each other. Any kind of warning connected to a relationship seems bizarre to me in that context. 
       
      I vote he gets recruited because of his mechanical savvy (and his recklessness!) for a risky mission that involves space travel.
      Also, what if CON knows about his connection with the Tin Man and will be sending the Tin Man along as a helper (with some sneaksy spy tech added to his matrix because the boy obviously doesn’t have appropriate respect for authority).
       
      With breaking up families every few years, how far removed geographically do they end up? Like do they also move people to entirely different cities as well or are they mostly mixing up neighbours into different family groups? Or something in between the two extremes?

      Could you put links to the earlier instalments at the beginning or end of each new portion? It would make it much easier to follow the progress of the story without having to go hunting in the archives. 🙂

  3. Clint Hall says:

    Christopher – nice stuff. I’m enjoying what you’re doing here.
    This is a really interesting world you’re building. Did you have any specific inspiration for this story? 

    • My only inspiration was the colonists who came to America. I thought to myself, “what must it have been like to get on the Mayflower and set sail for a distant land you were told was there to colonize it?” The answer that kept coming to mind was the black sea of space and the commitment it would take for us to reach out in hopes of colonizing a distant “new world” out there.
      That’s the start. But the rest is up for us to explore. 🙂
      I didn’t want it to be a “sci-fi” story as much as it is a fantasy story which is why I’ve chosen to go more steampunk. Technology is there, but is limited in this world. I like it that way.

  4. Evan C. says:

    I like it. I think he should be chosen and then… maybe escape or rebel with Red Eye equipment

  5. Evan C. says:

    also what age group is this for

  6. […] Chapter 2 – One of Them (Part 1) Chapter 2 – One of Them (Part 2) […]

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